The Celtics' Opening Night Lineup is a Fever Dream

A starting five of Derrick White, Jordan Walsh, Paul George, Jayson Tatum, and Robinson sounds like a typo until you remember the NBA is just a random number generator now.

Underdog NBA dropped the lineup alert for Tuesday's opening night clash, and it is a masterpiece of roster chaos. The Boston Celtics are officially rolling with that exact five against the Detroit Pistons.

Let's pause and appreciate the sheer absurdity of this matchup. The Celtics are opening their season against Detroit. That sounds like a nice tune-up game, except the Pistons are coming off a 60-win season where they secured the number one seed in the East. If you explained that to a time traveler from three years ago, they would ask to go back.

Then you look at Boston's side of the floor. Paul George is wearing Celtics green, which is still visually jarring. He slots in next to Tatum, creating a wing duo that will either score 60 points a night or take turns holding the ball for 18 seconds.

To balance out the star power, Boston is starting Jordan Walsh. He averaged 7.5 points and 4.8 rebounds in 25 starts last year. His primary job in this lineup will be running wind sprints and staying out of the way while the veterans decide who gets to shoot.

Derrick White is still here to be the adult in the room. He dropped 26 points in Boston's Game 7 playoff exit to Philadelphia last spring, and he will likely spend this season making sure the offense does not devolve into a pure isolation clinic.

For anyone firing up the prop markets, this rotation is a complete mystery box. Trying to project the usage rate between Tatum and George while factoring in whatever Robinson is doing down low is a fantastic way to donate to your sportsbook.

Boston and Detroit tip off Tuesday to start the year. We are about to find out if this Celtics experiment is a championship formula or just a really expensive fantasy draft gone wrong.