NFL · New York Giants · 07:18 ET · via @RapSheet

Cowboys Buy the Von Miller Brand While Jamal Adams Suffers Brutal Preseason Break

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Ian Rapoport tweeted: 'Von Miller lands with the #Cowboys' and 'Jamal Adams out for the season'.

The looking at a 37-year-old pass rusher and deciding he is the missing piece to a Super Bowl run is the most predictable plot twist of the NFL offseason. Ian Rapoport reported Monday that is officially heading to Dallas, giving Jerry Jones exactly what he wants: a massive brand name who used to terrify quarterbacks during the Obama administration.

To be fair to , he is not entirely washed. He managed nine sacks in 17 games for the last season, pushing his career total to an absurd 138.5. But expecting him to anchor a defense in 2026 is like buying a vintage sports car as your daily commuter. It looks great in the driveway, but you are going to be sweating every time you hit a pothole.

While is buying nostalgia, the are dealing with a nightmare. Rapoport also confirmed that safety Jamal Adams is out for the season after tearing his ACL in a meaningless preseason game against the .

Adams went down on a non-contact play, which is the exact phrase that makes every football fan sick to their stomach. The 30-year-old has spent the last few years battling a laundry list of knee and quad injuries, and losing him in mid-August is a brutal blow to a secondary that needed his veteran violence. If you were looking at Vikings defensive props, it might be time to recalculate.

The rest of Rapoport's Monday news dump felt like a chaotic group chat update. The are apparently leaning toward keeping Anthony Richardson, which is wild considering he spent most of last year recovering from a fractured eye socket. Meanwhile, is eyeing a Week 1 return for the , because of course he is.

Richardson staying in keeps their quarterback room as the ultimate high-variance gamble. You are either getting a highlight reel or a medical report, with absolutely zero in between.

With Week 1 closing in, the board is officially set. fans have two weeks to convince themselves is winning Defensive Player of the Year, while the have to figure out how to patch a massive hole in their secondary before the real games start.